Pretty Monsters
by iamtheoutcast
Summary: Skipper loves to be the leader, to be in control, but what happens when his former team- a mismatched group of strays and rogues- arrives at the zoo with a mission of their own? Join Skipper, Private, Kowalski, Rico, the Lemurs, and an army of OCs in a quest for acceptance,true love, and..!Don't like, Don't read. Pripper! Kico! Please review!
1. Chapter 1

Skipper ran around the underground HQ, straightening things that were only crooked in his mind and scrubbing away imaginary stains on the floor and walls. Private was curious as to what might make his leader a neat freak so suddenly, but whenever he asked, Skipper would just say, 'Classified'.

But Skipper dropped everything and practically flew out the hatch when there was a loud _THUNK _outside. Private slowly followed, nervous. Classified information usually meant booby-trapped lairs and angry rats. But what he saw was as far from being scary as possible.

Topside sat a tiny kitten, the cutest thing he'd ever seen, even more adorable than a puppy cuddling with a bunny cuddling with Private himself. But the strangest thing was, it was talking to Skipper, like he knew him. That's when the little black ball of fluff turned his ocean-blue eyes on Private and grinned.

"Ooh, are you Private? You're Skippy's friend, right?" Private raised where his eyebrows would be if he were human.

"Skipper, is _this _the classified intel? Because unless cute baby kittens breathe fire, he doesn't look too dangerous." Skipper nodded and rubbed the little cat's ears. It was rare to see Skipper be so affectionate, and it almost seemed like the kitten was his own child. Private paused to think- was that possible? Probably not.

"Wow, cool accent! I'm Button!" Said the ball of fur, bowing into a play-with-me pose. Button wiggled his bottom and flipped around to face Skipper, making an astonishingly adorable mewling sound.

"Skippy, I haven't seen you in forever! Please play with me? Puh-leeeease?" Skipper smiled and held up his flipper in a 'just a second' blinked- was this really his Skipper? His strict leader that was constantly yelling and hitting everybody?

Button wobbled over to Private and sniffed. His eyes brightened, and he seemed to glow.

"_You smell like fishies!_" He squealed, looking as if he might burst with excitement.

Private giggled and patted his furry head.

"I suppose I must, hm? Would you like some?" Button nodded and shot like a bullet toward the open hatch, but his grin was erased when he saw what was down the ladder.

"I can't go down there," He whimpered, backing away in super-slow motion."That's people stuff. People stuff is bad. People stuff makes you get hurt. People stuff made Mama and Daddy go 'way." He had tears in his eyes, and he was shaking.

Private was really confused- People stuff? How could people's things hurt you? Suddenly, Skipper was behind Button. He shot Private a sympathetic glance, then whispered something in Button's ear. He nodded and inched fearfully toward the hatch again. Skipper sighed and picked him up, walking over to Private.

"Can you take care of him? I have to talk to Kowalski and Rico about him. Plus, there's more coming, and not everyone's going to be as sweet and fluffy as Button." Private nodded and pulled a shaking Button into his flippers, trying not to think about who might be coming or why.

* * *

><p>"So, let me get this straight- your old team, who hate people, are coming to visit and won't tell you why? And Button's just a day early?" Said Private. Rico seemed to think he was making complete sense, but then, he wasn't really normal...<p>

Skipper just nodded and went to lie on his bunk, glancing at Kowalski and Button talking in the corner. The little kitten had calmed down quite a bit after he met the black-and-white scientist;apparently he was a lot smarter than he looked and he'd been gleefully helping Kowalski in his lab all day long. Private was bored, so he started to eavesdrop on them. Kowalski looked insanely impressed and interested in whatever Button was saying, but what Private heard, he couldn't understand a single word.

"See, and then you invert X, and carry the twelve, and then you get N, which, when divided by three, equals Y." Kowalski gaped at him.

"Where did you learn to read? And write? And _ do_ calculus?!" Suddenly, Button's smile fell and he looked like he might burst into tears.

"My Mama taught me..." He croaked. "Where can I sleep?" He asked Rico, who immediately regurgitated an air mattress and helped him onto it. The little furball wiped his eyes and curled into a ball.

"Lights out," Said Skipper quietly. Private obediently laid down on his bunk, but as he drifted to sleep he saw nothing but red eyes and sharp yellow teeth. He was imagining what sort of monstrous creatures would scare a baby like Button into jumping at the sight of his own shadow. He'd realized that while his fur made him look well-fed, you could count his ribs. Button was starving, bones pushing against the skin. There were cuts all over his paws and bite marks on his tail.

The worst part was, he'd have to meet them the very next morning...


	2. Chapter 2

Thump.

Private groaned and pulled a pillow over his head. It had been hard for him to get sleep last night, what with all the nightmarish figures that danced behind his eyelids.

_Thump Thump._

_" _Five more minutes, Skippah!"

_THUMP! _

He sat up and realized that the sound was definitely _not _Skipper. Heart pounding, he shook his leader awake.

"_What?_" Snapped Skipper, hopping out of his bunk and glaring daggers at his youngest soldier. Private had a grave expression on his face and he spoke in a monotone.

_"They're here."_

* * *

><p>Private stared, open-mouthed, at a hodgepodge of cats, dogs and penguins that ranged from terrifying to dorky.<p>

Skipper pointed at a misty grey cat who was staring at Private with a smug smirk and looked like he was trying not to laugh.

"This is Claws," He said, flashing Claws a warning look. "He's psychic, so he knows who you are already. And _not one word, Claws!_" He glared at the now doubled-over laughing cat.

"And _that thing,_" He said, flicking his flipper at an angry looking black lab, "Is Raven. He might kill you, so stay as far away from him as possible." Private shivered involuntarily. Skipper pretended not to take notice and continued introducing everybody. Besides Claws and Raven, there was Finch, a little brownish cat with long, spindly legs, Snow, who turned out to be Skipper's sister and the only penguin in the group, and their leader, Destiny; an intimidating mutt with dark purple eyes and fur like velvet. Skipper pulled them into HQ and watched as Button shot at them like a bottle rocket. Private noticed Skipper was looking at Claws with an expression that almost looked like... fear... But he was probably just seeing things.

"Snow," He called softly, pulling her over and into a quick hug. Then, his expression turned serious, and he looked her right in the eyes.

"Where's Rose?" He whispered.

"Skipper, I'm sorry, lil' bro, but Rosey went to the kingdom in the sky." Skipper took the news like a car crash- Private wondered who Rose was and pushed down a pang of jealousy when he thought she might be a girlfriend of Skipper's. He wasn't even gay, he wasn't Private's. But he couldn't help asking,

"Who's Rose?"

"My oldest sister... She raised me..." Muttered Skipper, turning to watch Button playing with Finch and Raven. Despite the circumstances, he smiled. He'd never noticed how much he missed his family, but now that he had Private, Rico and Kowalski, he'd never leave.

"So, will you tell me why you're here now?" Asked Skipper. Destiny growled, and Claws shot to her side.

"Yes, Mr. Psychic Waves, why don't you tell us why we're here?" Claws cackled- Private noted that he sounded like Rico when he laughed- and snarled in an ominous, threatening tone,

"We're here to play Cupid, my pretty little monsters."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Ooh, it's getting better! Prepare for major Pripper, Pretty Monsters! Please review, and there's a love song in the next chapter, so... yeah... Hope you like it, guys!<strong>_


	3. Chapter 3

**_So, I just want to point out that NONE of this is mine but the idea. Thanks, enjoy!_**

* * *

><p>Skipper looked like he wanted to rip Claws' face off. Private wanted to go die in a hole- a psychic had just told him that Skipper was destined to be with someone else. But if it made him happy...<p>

Private's thoughts were interrupted by Skipper's angry words and Claws, the Psycho Psychic, being tackled and pinned, but he wasn't screaming like anyone else in such a position would be...

He was _laughing._

_"_You aren't destined to win this fight, pretty boy." He snorted, shoving Skipper away with his hind legs. Skipper huffed and brushed the dirt off his front. Private knew if it had been anyone else they'd have lost an eye. Or a leg. Or a spleen.

" Besides," Claws went on, "Fluffy, Boom-Boom and the Brain could use a lil' bit o' love help, too." He glanced between Private, Rico and Kowalski as he spoke.

"Did you just call me _Fluffy?!" _Asked Private indignantly with a stomp of his foot. "I am _not _Fluffy!"

"Okay," Claws corrected himself. "Softy." The young penguin gave up. It was going to be a long... however long they decided to stay.

* * *

><p>"Operation Lovebug, go!" Ordered Destiny. She couldn't believe the luck- an old, abandoned people den, even the disgusting stench was gone. They got to stay in this huge, awesome place the whole time they were visiting Skipper.<p>

"Button, Finch, you're going to put a tail on the Private kid, got it?" Button nodded, and Finched muttered an irritable _yes _in between licks on her shoulder.

"Raven, you and Claws follow Skip, got it?" They nodded.

"And I'm going with Snow to talk to Koko and Rico, those other weirdos, to try and help their miserable love lives. Am I understood?"

"Yes, ma'am!" Chorused the pack. "Roll out!"

* * *

><p>Private sulkily wandered the New York streets, not caring if anybody saw him. Why couldn't Skipper be in love with him?! He didn't notice prissy Finch or cutsie Button until they were already cornering him in an alleyway.<p>

"'Sup, Privy?" Asked Button, like it was normal and didn't look like he was mugging him. He was just a kitten, though, he didn't know any better. Finch was looking at her claws and talking about a pawdicure, whatever _that _was.

"What do you want? I'm moping, and 'Walski has the telly, so I can't even watch the new Lunacorns episode..." He trailed off when Button winked at him.

"We're on a secret mission I can't tell you about!" Private decided not to point out that he just did, and obviously Finch thought better of it, too.

"So, then what do you need me for?" Finch grinned maliciously.

"We know, Fluffy!" Private had pretty much given up on having them call him anything but 'Fluffy', 'Sparkles', and 'Softy'. And on having anything they said make sense.

"What do you know?"

"You like _Skipper!"_ Squealed Button with a bounce. Private thought he might faint- if unobservant Finch and baby Button knew, it had to be pretty obvious.

"Please don't tell him!" He screeched.

"Oh, we won't," Purred Finch, obviously enjoying herself. "_You will!"_ Private gagged.

"Um, _no._ Not happening. He'd hate me!" Finch looked at Button and winked, and out of nowhere, they burst into a surprisingly nice fit of song._  
><em>

"_We were both young when I first saw you, I close my eyes and the flashback starts, I'm standin' there, on a balcony in summer air. See the lights, see the party, the ballgowns, see you make your way through the crowd, and say 'Hello', Little did I know, that you were Romeo, you were throwin' pebbles, and my Daddy said, 'Stay away from Juliet!' And I was cryin' on the staircase, beggin' you, please don't go-oh,"_ So, their plan was to sing until he told Skipper? What kind of a plan was that?!Private held his flippers over his earholes. No matter what, no matter how obnoxious they got, he wouldn't crack.

* * *

><p><em>Meanwhile, Raven and Claws have the HQ on lockdown and are using the same unanimously voted method- it seemed appropriate for a love mission- on Skipper.<em>

* * *

><p>"Skippy, it's destiny! Can't fight it, honey."<p>

"So, Destiny put you up to this?" Asked Skipper, amused. Did they really think he'd give away his biggest secret if they said please? Raven, then, nudged Claws' shoulder, and lo and behold, out came a scratchy, unused singing voice and another like nails on a chalkboard.

"_I told the witch doctor I was in love with you, I told the witch doctor I was in love with you, and so the witch doctor, he told me what to do, he said, 'Ooh, Eeh, Ooh, Ah-ah, Ting, Tang, Walla-walla Bing Bang, Ooh, Eeh, Ooh, Ah-ah, Ting Tang Wallawalla Bing Bang!' 'Ooh, Eeh, Ooh, Ah-ah, Ting, Tang, Walla-walla Bing Bang, Ooh, Eeh, Ooh, Ah-ah, Ting Tang Wallawalla Bing_ Bang!'" Skipper stared, wondering if they'd been talking to Julien and the lemurs. It was insane! Raven NEVER sang, she hated her voice, even though it sort of sounded like a sixties pop remix when she talked, and Claws... Well, Skipper hadn't even known he knew about music! Finally, he put two and two together and figured it out: This was a sing-terrogation.

"_I told the witch doctor you didn't love me true, I told the witch doctor you didn't love me nice, and my friend the witch doctor, he gave me this advice; he said 'Ooh, Eeh, Ooh, Ah-ah, Ting, Tang, Walla-walla Bing Bang, Ooh, Eeh, Ooh, Ah-ah, Ting Tang Wallawalla Bing Bang!' 'Ooh Eeh, Ooh Ahah, Tingtang, Walla-walla Bingbang, OohEehOoh Ahah Tingtang Wallawalla Bingbang!'" _Skipper pulled his noise-cancellation headphones out from under his pillow and pulled them on with a smirk, but Claws reached up and snagged them without missing a beat.

Skipper sighed- it was going to be a looong evening...

* * *

><p><em>Guess what's happening with 'Boom-Boom and the Brain'?<em>

* * *

><p>Destiny tended not to hesitate with her missions, and today was no exception. She didn't bother with trivial conversation and foreshadowing, she just went for it, shoving the two freaks together as hard as she could and belting out the first few lyrics she could think of with Snow right behind her.<p>

"_Cupid! Draw back your bow-oh-oh, and let your arrow go-oh, straight to my lover's heart for me, nobody but me-ee! Cupid, please here my cry-y-y! And let you arrow fly-y-y! Straight to my lover's heart, for me-ee-ee!" _Kowalski blushed deep scarlet and began to pull away, but Snow rammed right back into him, and this time their beaks crashed together, and neither of them even bothered to hesitate.

One down, one to go... Operation Lovebug, Sweet Success. It was so close, Destiny could almost taste it- and it tasted like Pripper.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Okay, so that took a lot of IPod Shuffling to write, so I reeeeally hope you liked it! The first song was Love Story by T-Swift(Love ya, Tay-Tay!), and it just kinda worked for Finch's voice... Xp <strong>_

_**The second one was The Witch Doctor, by I Don't Know Who, I GOT IT STUCK IN MY HEAD! And I just kept seeing Claws singing this, so..**_

_**The last one was Cupid, by Sam Cooke, but I like the Boys II Men version better lol! Oh, and Kico, anybody?! XD **_

_**Please review if you liked it! No one reviews*bursts into soap opera tears* but seriously, I'll send Claws to your house to give you a vivid description of what you look like in sixty years jk lol. :D**_


	4. Chapter 4

Private slowly stepped toward Skipper. He'd decided it would be good for him to tell Skipper now than to spend the rest of his life wondering. But when Skipper glanced up at him with those piercing eyes of him, his fear of rejection overcame him. He was too close to back out now, though, so instead he said,

"Skipper, can I ask you something?" Skipper rolled his eyes and nodded in an annoyed way. Private noticed that he had big purple bags beneath his eyes and wondered if he'd slept at all last night. He went and sat next to his leader, who seemed upset about something.

"What's wrong?" He asked, patting his back soothingly. Skipper angrily shrugged him off.

"_Claws._ That's what happened." The younger penguin flinched, hurt, and quickly changed the subject.

"Will you tell me about your old team? Ya' know, Rose, your parents, Button's _parents..."_

"My dad ran off when I was born, and my mom died of starvation. It's hard to find food in the wild, and she gave everything to Rose, Snow, and me. Button's parents got hit by a truck. People have a tendency to ruin lives and not notice or care." Skipper obviously didn't want to talk about this, he needed to think, so Private left. He was glad Button and Finch had finally given him a break and hoped they'd leave him alone for long enough to take a nap...

* * *

><p>Private dreamed of love, saw different scenes where Skipper would give him roses or kiss his cheek, but he knew it was a dream since A) None of this would happen in real life. <em>Ever!<em> And B), Princess Self-Respectra _was _eating rainbow tarts and peanut-butter Winkies in the corner, so...

Still, he hoped to never wake.

It seemed as if his luck had run dry, though, because he woke with a jolt when a six-part harmony started right next to his earhole, and he was lifted into the air by Raven's razor-sharp teeth. Wait, so Raven- I'm nice if I trust you, I'll rip your throat out if if I don't, _Raven was _in on this?!

_Apparently, _he thought as he was dropped next to Skipper, surrounded by the rogue pack, who were all howling as loud as they could.

_"I love you (Ooh, Ooh) But I gotta stay true(Ooh,Ooh,) You got me on my knees, I'm beggin', Please! Stop playin' games! I don't know what this is, but you got me good, just like you knew ya' would!" _His heart plummeted straight downward into his stomach. Were they _completely _insane? They were going to start this up in front of Skipper?! He glanced over at his brave leader and saw him staring back, a look of fear and apology... and love, maybe? On his face. But before Private could ask about it, he felt something slam into his back and BAM! He was laying flat on top of Skipper, their beaks barely an inch away from each other.

"_I don't know what you do, but ya' do it well. I'm under your spell!" _Yowled Raven, rolling her eyes as Skipper and Private scrambled hastily away from each other.

_"You got me beggin' you for MERCY!"_ Sang little Button with a sharp bite to Skipper's wing, causing him to careen back into Private.

"_Why won't you release me?!" _Screeched Claws, rocketing full-speed toward Skipper as he scrabbled out of the hatch and into the warm zoo air.

Private followed suit, but while Skipper slid on his belly toward Marlene's pool, he shot as fast as he could in the direction of the lemur habitat, but they probably thought it was a sing along, because they joined in with their own lyrics.

"_You got me beggin for the feetses!" _Squealed Mort, off-key and out of tune as he made a frantic dive for Julien's ankle.

"_I order you now, RELEASE THEM!"_ Shouted the king, sending his servant flying into Central Park.

"_ReLEAeehEEHeease meeeeee! Now I want some pie (Ooh, ooh!) With somethin' on the side (Ooh,ooh!)" _Scatted Maurice, before- most disorienting of all- Kowalski and Rico dropped over the wall and added a rather confusing line to the sudden State-Wide Sing Along.

"_But you've got to understand that I need a man, who can taaake my hand, yes I DO!" _Sang Kowalski, while Rico just stood silent before pulling him into a huge kiss that Private knew he'd never be able to un-see. Suddenly, he was whizzing through the air(Destiny threw him!) with Finch loudly screaming out the song beneath him. Private swore that if Skipper ever forgave him for this, he'd ask him if his old team was always this musical.

"_I don't know what this IS, but ya' got me good! Jus' like ya' kneeeewwww ya' would! I don't know whatcha DOOOO but ya' do it well, I'm under your spell!" _There was a loud splash as he landed in Marlene's pool. He felt strong flippers around him pull him to safety, but apparently even Marlene- whom of which was obviously the one Claws had said Skipper belonged with- was in on this catchy torture. After a few more notes,_she joined in!__  
><em>

_"You got me beggin' you for MERCY,(Yeah,yeah!) Why won't ya' release me?! Ya got me beggin' you for MERRRRRRRCYYY! Why won'tcha release me? I said ya betta releeeeeeeEEEEeeeeeassssee meeeeeEEEEEE! YEAH!"_

Raven and Destiny suddenly advanced on them and forced them to stand side by side against the wall. While Raven repeated the chorus, Destiny started in on a... RAP?

"_You look at me and think we're the same kind, Cause ya don't know what I got in mind, I want a bit more than I'm askin' fo' but I just don't wanna waste my time. Ya think I'll be that girl, like there's nothin' else in this world? I want some fun, Go get me some, I just don't know where you're coming from, YOU GOT ME BEGGIN! YOU GOT ME BEGGIN!"_

* * *

><p><em>Private's Pov <em>

There was a sharp twang from Julien's banjo as Raven and Destiny darted out to the side and forced our beaks to collide. I froze, aware that the music had stopped and neither of us had pulled away; me, because quite frankly I didn't want to, and him... shock? But then, he kissed back!

I could hear the angels singing Halleluiah, and I bet that there was nothing else in this universe that could possibly feel better than kissing Skipper. I didn't hear the loud applause, the _eeewwww... _from Julien, nor Maurice's yelp of shock. I simply lost every sense but taste and feel, and in reality I didn't want it to ever end...

* * *

><p><em>Third Person Pov<em>

"Finally!" Screeched Julien when the two finally pulled apart with hearts in their eyes. Everyone turned to stare at the Ringtail, and, relishing the attention, he hammed it up and pretended to faint soap-opera style.

"You two took so very long being lovey-sick that I was about to ask the Sky Spirits for help, and they do not like you, at all! Seriously, I thought..." He trailed off when Private opened his mouth, wanting suddenly to run away before he said something about whatever it was that was so appealing about the fishy one's mouth, but he just turned to the mutt- Dezpinheady, he thought she was called- and said,

"Did you have to sing to make it happen? Do you always act like you're a character on High School Musical?" This took the attention away from Julien, and he did _not _like that, so he turned with a huff and sped off. Private and Skipper didn't notice, though, because they were walking flipper in flipper through the throng of laughing animals toward HQ. 'Let them have their fun,' Skipper had whispered in his ear. 'We can have some of our own...'.

I'll leave their fun fest to your own dirty mind...

* * *

><p>Button ran back, sobbing, for the third time that morning. Throwing his little paws around Private and Skipper, he bawled,<p>

"I don't wanna go!" Skipper patted his head and gently pried him away. Private caught Button not only looking at them, but also glancing over their shoulders. The pack had no reason to stay any longer, so they were going home, and Button was too young to understand why he couldn't stay with Skipper and 'Unca Privy', as he had grown fond of calling Private. Obviously, his constant, searching peeks over his shoulder hadn't gone unnoticed, though, because Skipper knelt down next to the tiny fluffball and asked,

"What else is going on here, Button?" Button sighed and launched into a long, complicated story.

"I was eating a super yummy sammich I found in the people can, when this people girl came over and gave me her whole two sammiches! Then she petted me, and then she talked to me and I talked to her about how Finch likelikes Claws(THAT WAS A SECRET, interjected Finch), and she understood me! I... I wanna stay with Ashley..." He whimpered and shuffled his feet, but Skipper noticed the way he managed to throw a glance over his shoulder as he did this anyway.

"Is that her?" Asked Destiny, pointing to a sixteen-year-old girl with long red hair across the Park on a bench. Button nodded vigorously, and Destiny said the least expected thing a people-hater could say. "Operation: Lapdog, commence. No man left behind!"

* * *

><p>So, this was the story of Kico, Pripper, and Operation: Lovebug. The story of how a bunch of strays found a home, and the unsung story of Finch and Claws, Rose, and Skipper's parents. Death and injury are like knives, leaving deep, unhealing cuts that seem like they'll never stop bleeding. But true love is like a bandage, covering it away and making you think of better things. And as for family? It will never be about what you are or where you come from. It's about what you mean to each other that makes you family, friends or foes. So wherever the chips may fall, always keep in mind that you are not alone. Because standing by you is an army of your own Pretty Monsters.<p>

* * *

><p><strong><em>I hope you guys got the message I was trying to get across! The song was Mercy, by Duffy, and I couldn't get this scene out of my head. I tried to make the lemurs butcher this song as bad as possible so I hope it worked! As for the last paragraph, really, it sounds cheesy but it's true. I really hope you understood it! :D Review if you liked it please!<em>**


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